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Joke of the Day

"Golf Vs Women Why don't women play golf? Because they suck at driving."

"What's E.T. short for? His legs are small."

"How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns? The Sesame Seeds on his buns. (According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)"

"All men approve of premarital sex...until they have a daughter."

"Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff."

"If global warming was causing guns to melt, we'd all be driving electric cars within two weeks."

"Fade Away by Peter Out"

"My 5 year old is looking all over the house for his drumsticks but he won't have any luck finding them without a shovel."

"I just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move."

"Hey, remember me from last night? You gave me the wrong number but I found you on Facebook. I'm on your porch. Can I come in?"