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Joke of the Day

"isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they're annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would've died like 15 years ago"

"I used to have sex daily... Then Reddit taught me it was just dyslexia... Edit: Holy donkey balls this blew up during my daily 8 hour nap. Thanks everyone for making my New Years.."

"Why did the turtle cross the road? ...to get to the Shell station."

"Knock knock Who's there? I smell a map. I smell a map who? Gross."

"Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!"

"Do you have to be from Vietnam to open up a restaurant called ""Viet Noms?"" I'm asking for a friend"

"It is so cold... fire hydrants are flagging down dogs to piss on them."

"What do you call bacon wrapped frog legs? The Muppets"

"I'm a heavy sleeper... Also, a heavy awaker... Okay, I'm fat."

"When I'm bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus."