199657

Joke of the Day

"I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up."

"There's a reason why ""sober"" and ""so bored"" sound almost exactly the same."

"Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets."

"The best advice my parents ever gave me was not to push too hard because that's how Elvis died."

"Diplomacy is saying ""nice doggy"" until you find a big rock."

"My kids are starting to ask questions that I don't know the answers to so I'm going to have to trade them in for dumber models."

"I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West."

"The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love you so much I'm gonna get the government involved so you can't leave"

"I just fell through the roof of a French bakery I'm in a world of pain."

"I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van."