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Joke of the Day
"ELI5: Women"
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"I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten."
"How did one pothead greet the other? High"
"Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books."
"The local flasher in my area was going to retire this week but he's changed his mind and is going to stick it out till Christmas."
"In the beginning, God made Heaven and Earth... The rest was made in China."
"Baby, it's cold outside. I checked my weather app."
"If a man tells you he'll fix it, he will fix it. There is no need to incessantly remind him about it every 5 to 6 months."
"Made a hiking playlist called 'trail mix' It has a lot of eminem in it"
"Captain: You're suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop."