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Joke of the Day

"Why did Sally fall off the Swing?? Because She had no arms...... Knock Knock Who's There?? Not Sally........"

"How do you know when it's NotTheOnion? When they're still running pieces on Hillary Clinton."

"What do you call a deaf quadriplegic? Whatever you want"

"I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job. He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable."

"I'm thinking about trying steroids... I hear they're all the rage!"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"Martial Arts for weak prisoners A new martial art similar to taekwondo is being developed for weak people that go to prison. It is named TyroneNo"

"The FBI agents that will eventually search your basement won't be able to sleep for a very long time."

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not 6, because it's still dark down there..."

"I have the attention span of a... Have I ever told you how much I like porn?"