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Joke of the Day

"How can I go to sleep when this movie I've seen 70 times just started?"

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"How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well? She was shouting for help."
"How does Hitler like his Juice? From concentrate."
"Why Does Captain Kirk Have 3 Ears? He's got his left ear, his right ear...and the final front ear."
"ok he'res funny joke lol."
"What does a unionized hooker say when she is done work for the day? I'm off the cock."
"My dumb friend told me the 'pull my finger' joke ends w you farting, NOT shitting your pants. He's wrong, right? RIGHT???"
"Who called it your foot falling asleep and not coma toes?"
"A little boy and a little girl are having a bath... When the little girl looks down at the little boy's crotch and notices his penis. ""Can I touch it?"" She asks him. ""No! You already broke yours off!"""
"When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed. specifically my name, address and phone number."