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Joke of the Day
"What is a water bottle's favorite game to play? Follow the litre."
Next Joke
"I like my coffee how I like my women. STD free."
"In Heaven Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right"
"Great roll model A kid all confused asked his dad: Dad, dad..What is closer the moon or London? To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here?"
"I got a call telling me my grandma only has a few hours left to live.... but I refuse to pay the ransom."
"""Hi. I'm beautiful and love football and snuggling. Sucks about your broken wiener."" -Viagra commercials"
"We didn't have Legos when I was a kid. We had Lincoln Logs & we could build anything with them: big cabin, small cabin, you name the cabin."
"[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse"
"Called my boss this morning. Told him I couldn't come in because I had anal glaucoma. ""Anal glaucoma?"" ""What's that?"" he asked. ""I just can't see my ass coming in today."""
"How do you scare a bee? Boo bee. (Boobie - get it? - courtesy of my kids)"