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Joke of the Day

"In Heaven Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right"

"I often misuse common phrases People are always pulling me off for it."

"my dream job is to be the FBI guy who nicknames criminals. someone blew up a fish market? Tunabomber. easy."

"Why are wires addicted to electricity? They can't resist."

"With the recent success of mining for Chileans, I'm just hoping the U.S. doesn't try drilling for Farm Laborers."

"What does music have to do with safety? If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat."

"Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually agents will screw in just about anything."

"Two banana peels What do you call two banana peels? A pair of slippers"

"did u fall from heaven bc so did satan"

"We changed our dog's name to Dad. Because he kept running away"