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Joke of the Day
"I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson"
Next Joke
"After I changed sex, my daughter has been ignoring me.. It seems like I'm transparent"
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, ""Why the long face, Mr. Horse?"" The horse does not respond because he is a fucking horse."
"ow do you organize a space party? you planet"
"Did you know that if you drive past the first drive thru window your food is free?"
"""i'm not even that high."" -me talking to the microwave"
"What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones!"
"You guys need to leave pedophiles alone! They're just kidding around."
"Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer? A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy."
"Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting"