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Joke of the Day

"I don't want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas."

"Six inches of snow predicted tonight: Is that twitter 6"" | | Subway 6"" | | Real life 6"" | | Or Dan 6"" | | Cheesecake"

"So you think you're a book Fan? Have you ever gotten a paper cut on your balls? Thought not."

"How many Communists does is take to screw in a light bulb? All of them."

"What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch? Namaste"

"The bird developed an illness. i think it started when the bird flu."

"imagine a stadium full of Furbies all talking at once"

"I was at a checkup.. And the doctor said i need to stop masturbating ""Why?"" ""Because I'm checking you."""

"A few simple tips: 1. Don't promise when you're happy. 2. Don't reply when you're angry. 3. Don't decide when you're sad."

"I still struggle daily with how Ed Hardy happened"