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Joke of the Day

"I was at a checkup.. And the doctor said i need to stop masturbating ""Why?"" ""Because I'm checking you."""

"how many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they just beat it for being black!"

"Did you hear about the redneck woman's husband who killed her father and her brother? Supposedly she didn't even know he was suicidal"

"How Do Rednecks Celebrate Halloween? They Pump Kin."

"Now that Harriet Tubman is on the $20 bill I hear it will only be worth $15.80"

"The door to door bible people just skipped my house! See, all it takes is trying to kiss the guy and he wont be back (until 3am)"

"The shape... Did you know? The shape of your mouth as you say the word ""poop"" is the same that your butthole makes when you poop! Same goes for diarrhea."

"Carl: Gonna be a hot one today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Male ostriches can roar like lions. Me: Fair enough, Carl."

"If you don't believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?"

"Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?"