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Joke of the Day

"A bottle washes on shore with a note inside it: ""Go swimming, the water's great! And there's no sharks! P.S. this wasn't written by a shark"""

Next Joke
 
"Seasons Greetings by Mary Christmas"
"How does a grizzly catch fish? With his bear hands!"
"My 5-year-old daughter hates it when I call her the ""C"" word... cranky. She starts crying, screaming and stomping around. It's at this point I have to tell her: ""Stop acting like a little cunt!"""
"A fish runs in to a wall and says... ""Dammit Donald!"""
"I hated Sex Ed at school. Or 'Sexy Edward', to give him his full name."
"How does god receive prayers? knee-mail"
"me: this cat is kissing me on the lips because it LOVES me cat: mother's lips taste perpetually of bacon"
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"Just remember, if you're attractive and they're ugly, it's not sexual harassment. You're giving them a compliment."