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Joke of the Day

"me: this cat is kissing me on the lips because it LOVES me cat: mother's lips taste perpetually of bacon"

"Did you hear about the woman who was shot 24 times in the back?! They say she got up afterwards, putting her clothes back on, and exclaimed ""Wow, your reload time is *amazing*!"""

"I went to an Anti- Abortion rally... Their slogan was ""our movement is unstoppable, they will never defetus"""

"Q: What a BLONDE will ask the doctor in the maternity ward? A: ""Is it mine?"""

"Not a single character in any horror or sci-fi film can possibly ever have watched even one horror or sci-fi film."

"I bet phone booths are disappearing because they don't want us escaping the Matrix."

"*at party* Guy: Want to dance? Me: I'm sorry but I cannot, in good conscience, leave this cheese ball unattended."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""Breathe you idiot! Breathe!"""

"There was a guy so dumb, that one time drug dealers sent him to Colombia to bring coke He brought back Pepsi"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, those who don't, those who think this joke is in base 3, and those who know this joke is in base 4."