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Joke of the Day

"You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet."

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"What do you call a window that can rap? Two Panes"
"Trying to grab something out of my minivan while the automatic door is closing is the most Indiana Jones-y part of my day."
"What do you call a doctor who is trained in neurosurgery and is covering for a gynecologist? A pervert."
"What's the difference between your mom and the subway? Homeless guys have to pay $2.50 to jerk off on the subway."
"First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it. Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop."
"Maggie Thatcher Just heard they have cancelled the funeral. ATOS have declared Maggie fit for work!"
"My girlfriend just broke up with me, mainly because of my extreme Burger King addiction. So I said to her ""Fine, have it your way."""
"What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke."
"Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down? Triple, eh?"