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Joke of the Day

"The phrase, ""Don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate."

"Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. ""Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?"" ""Yes!"" ""For the whole basketball team?"""

"Why don't you make jokes about muslims? Because they will fucking kill you."

"Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said ""May I please have a cigarette?"". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite."

"You're one in a million China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you."

"Two condoms are walking down the street... They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other ""hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"""

"Did you hear about the Piano Teacher that slept with his student? She was A Minor."

"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."

"I hate the Blacks in my neighborhood. Mr. Black is a douche. Mrs. Black is a slut. And the kids are the worst."

"Rock, paper, scissors? -The proctologist removing items from me"