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Joke of the Day

"NOT EVERYONE WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING, MOM. SOME OF US WERE TRYING TO BREAK IT UP."

"Friend: ""This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend."" Me: ""This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."""

"""America is getting snow? How cute"" -Canadians"

"Why do dentists not watch an entire porn video? They only watch the oral parts."

"I heard that the president was poisoned, then cured. But the information is purely antidotal."

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it!"

"I've never really gotten along with my brother.... I wish he was more like my mom...in that I wish he died three years ago"

"My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N's justify the means."

"Really threw me off This kid started throwing out words that started with TH. I got through this, there, and they but I didn't see that coming."

"I've been clean for 47 days I'm taking daily baths but it's okay because I've been using heroin to cope."