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Joke of the Day
"I bought a book about addiction I've read it 50 times and it still hasn't helped."
Next Joke
"Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom? Force of Hobbit."
"78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up."
"Told my grandma that some chimps and monkeys are learning to hunt with Spears. She responded with ""what? Are they gonna join isis too?"""
"Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!"
"I used to wonder how anybody could possibly drop a cell phone in the toilet. Used to."
"A chicken crosses the road... ..and meets 007 on the other side. ""What's your name?"" Asks the chicken. ""Bond, James Bond,"" Says 007. ""And how about you?"" ""Ken,"" Says the chicken. ""Chic Ken."""
"I can't remember my memory ever being this good I think"
"I need to do just one more beheading & this will be the best New Year's revolution, ever!"
"Maybe if we start smacking people when they say something stupid, evolution will eventually create a delay between thinking and speaking."