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Joke of the Day

"I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once."

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"as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water"
"First Olympic sailing result just in. GB have taken gold, Australia have taken silver and Somalia have taken the boat"
"What do you call a french racist? A beget!"
"What do you call a Black man that walks by a Cop? A Pencil cause he's full of lead!"
"Long underwear is the fur that God forgot to give us."
"I'd rather watch a 3D video of my conception than watch one episode of The Real Housewives."
"How do you keep Trump busy for the rest of his term? Tell him his twitter phone is in the corner of his office."
"My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker... ...Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."
"When I die, I'm not donating my body to science, but I might donate it to the English department and freak the shit out of some people."
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