64712

Joke of the Day

"A doctor goes to his patient and says ""I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's"" Patient replies ""Well, at least I don't have cancer!"""

"It's just sad how often I see zookeepers breaking their own 'Dont Feed the Animals' rule."

"What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet"

"I'm writinig a book.... It's called *""""Pop goes the hamster"" and other great microwave games""*"

"""Take the wheel Harry!"" said the nervous lady driver. ""There's a tree coming straight for us!"""

"I was talking with my girlfriend on Skype the other night... ...and she told me this really, really terrible joke. I mean, it wasn't even remotely funny!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. I don't drink coffee."

"me: Dave's coming over wife: Nice Dave or Dave who picked a fight with a kid named Cancer? *Dave walks in wearing an ""I Beat Cancer"" shirt*"

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"

"It was dark so I had to feel around for the hole with my finger, I didn't wanna just randomly jam it in anywhere I hate it when the keyless remote battery dies."