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Joke of the Day

"It was dark so I had to feel around for the hole with my finger, I didn't wanna just randomly jam it in anywhere I hate it when the keyless remote battery dies."

"My grandparents, parents, and even my siblings have chronic diarrhea... runs in the family"

"What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart? One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!"

"ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn."

"""Is your refrigerator running?"" ""Yes"" "" AWESOME! REFRIDGERATOR 2016!"""

"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's called a stud... But when a girl does the same she's called a lesbian."

"Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves. Gums don't kill people, wrappers do."

"""911 what's your emergency"" IM DYING ""what happened"" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES ""lol pics or didn't happen"""

"I'm going to hell for this but..... *knock knock* Who's there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *you said you'd never forget*"

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."