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Joke of the Day

"I was talking with my girlfriend on Skype the other night... ...and she told me this really, really terrible joke. I mean, it wasn't even remotely funny!"

"So there are two... There are two muffins in the oven, one muffin says to the other on, ""it's getting hot in here"". The other one says.. ""Holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised as youth. Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today..."

"What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on? Cot-on-wool."

"Two Sausages are Frying in a Pan... ...And one of them says to the other, 'Fuck me, it's hot in here!', to which the other replies 'FUCK ME, *A TALKIN' SAUSAGE!!!*'"

"It's easier to find the needle in the haystack when you bring a flamethrower. That's a fact, jack. Merica."

"What do a guy crossing Niagara falls on a tight rope and a guy getting a blowjob from a 90 year old have in common? Both are thinking don't look down, just don't look down."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? **One.** They're very efficient and don't have a great sense of humour."

"What did the guy with 5 penises say? ""These pants fit like a glove"""