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Joke of the Day

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"""

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Only one, but... It takes the entire ER department to get it back out."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool!"

"A horse walks into a pub and the bartender says, ""hey we've got a drink named after you"". The horse responded, ""what, Eric, really""?"

"Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders? Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name ""Sanders""."

"Someone told me they dont get tattoos cuz ""you dont put bumper stickers on a Ferrari"" which was weird bc he was a 92 Chevy caprice at best"

"hunter s. thompson was cool, but there were also tribes that were gatherer s. thompson"

"A simple ""Fuck you"" can save hours of conversation."

"Did you hear Peter Dinklage got pickpocketed? Who would stoop that low?"

"I need a new job. One where I'm always running out the door with my arms flailing and holding a jar screaming ""I GOTTA GET THIS TO THE LAB!"""