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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Peter Dinklage got pickpocketed? Who would stoop that low?"

"How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor."

"Hey Joe, don't think we can use this ad. Why not? We're roofers. Yes, but ""Hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed"" seems extreme."

"What concert costs 45 cents? Fifty Cent and Nickleback"

"She left me 'cause of my obsession with double negatives. Guess she ain't never coming back."

"I got gas today for $1.09! Too bad it was from Taco Bell."

"Her: how are you Me: good Her: you sure? Me: yup Her: you're alright? Me: yes.. Her: really? Me: Her: are y-- Me: people like you go missing"

"Since we are doing lightbulb jokes, here's one... Q: How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb? A: A fish!"

"what's the difference between a slut and a bitch a slut fucks everybody, a bitch fucks everybody but me ;P"

"Archaeologists digging in Egypt discovered a Mummy covered in Chocolate and Nuts Experts believe it to be a Pharaoh Roche"