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Joke of the Day

"Who's the first Jewish guy to get a Heisman Trophy? ""Fred Goldman, because he's got mine!"" - OJ Simpson"

"Why monkeys make terrible drivers: bad depth perception, suffer from road rage & fling poop at other drivers."

"Watching the Olympics. Me: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING! GOLD MEDAL! Announcer: Ohhh! Not a good performance, those scores will not be pretty."

"Ugly scenes in centre of Leicester this evening An 'anti Trump' protestor threw a traffic cone, narrowly missing US President by 5802 miles"

"What kind of Asian dish takes away your freedoms? Kung Pao Chicken"

"Michael Jackson's latest autopsy report states that he didn't actually die at home. He died in the hospital - he was found in the children's ward having a stroke."

"If lemonade is made from lemons, what's a colonnade made from?"

"""Then, the handsome prince sees her dead body laying there and has to kiss her."" ""Ummm, what?"" ""Trust me, the kids will love it."""

"I love you, but I'm not in ""change my relationship status on FB"" love with you"

"Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's? Because they fall through his hands."