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Joke of the Day
"*goes to pond* *duck hands me $100* ""Give me the hard stuff."" *hands over bag of croutons*"
Next Joke
"Me: Can I order the conch fritters please? Waitress: The ""ch"" is pronounced like a ""k"" Me: Okay Bick."
"Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity? Because they only have one season."
"Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go."
"Supposedly anagrams of people's names give you clues to how they're going to die... ... and [Hugh Dennis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Dennis) is an anagram of ""hung in shed""."
"My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional. Edit: Thanks for my first ever Reddit gold, stranger!"
"Most people call me ""bad at pickup lines"" But you? You can call me tonight."
"I want a Michael Corleone in the streets and a horse head in the sheets."
"My parents were nihilists, but I knew they loved me... ...Because when they died, they left me nothing."
"i absolutely cannot cook for shit but i was watching a child prodigy chef n was casually like ""ugh, i don't kno about that sauce"""