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Joke of the Day

"Bummed about the early Scotland vote results. This was pretty much our best hope for seeing Shrek on a flag."

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"On went on a cruise last week and fell into... the Aft hole. I was stuck in that aft hole for two weeks. Source: Impractical Jokers"
"A Japanese company upset Americans by selling clothes labeled Skinny, Fat and Jumbo. They have since changed them to Large, Extra Large and American."
"A priest, a rabbi and a gorilla walk into a bar. The bartender looks over and says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""
"My friend asked me if I wanted to walk down a hill with him. I declined."
"Kidnapping is such a strong word, I prefer to think of it as Surprise Adoption"
"Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk."
"Told my mum someone had been shot and she asked with what? I wanted to reply 'with a cutlass' but I want her to pay for masters..."
"hAD SO MYCH COFFEE WHO wantS TO HELP ME STOP KONY LETS GO LETS STEAL A CAR BRO CMON"
"I find it really hard to tell jokes on reddit. I always punch up the fuckline."