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Joke of the Day

"Told my mum someone had been shot and she asked with what? I wanted to reply 'with a cutlass' but I want her to pay for masters..."

"We're like lazy revolutionaries who act only by posting lame comments on a public forum."

"What do you call a hard rock fan going through gender reassignment surgery? A transition metal."

"Brexit There is a new slimming product in town. It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds."

"If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton get in a plane crash who survives? America Survives."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 72 seconds, Poor bastard."

"What happened in France? Did they release a GTA Go?"

"Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U."

"Give a man a fire, and He'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."