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Joke of the Day

"You're right, sir. It's MY fault that your credit card was declined. Please, tell me again how much money you have in that account."

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes."

"Whats the most common work of fiction? The average persons resume"

"That confusing moment when the person you hate at work brings donuts"

"Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did."

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why."

"I used to steal jokes I still do, but I used to too"

"Plane turbulence is caused by flying over hot areas, flying over mountains, and you getting up to use the airplane bathroom"

"My jokes are like my penis make feminists gag"

"The funniest joke of all time tbh My life... God seems to be laughing..."