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Joke of the Day
"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just gave a little wine"
Next Joke
"My favorite Jesus is the one who gives musicians MTV Video Music Awards. My second favorite Jesus is my landscaper."
"I maintain a lifelong grudge against anyone at a restaurant who orders after me yet gets their food before me."
"My 3yo said Cheese is her favorite place. I don't know if I should be worried that she thinks cheese is a place or sad because it's not."
"double negatives what is the greatest double negative/oxymoron of all time? A happy Marriage"
"What do a mosquito and my ex have in common? They both try to suck you dry, try to have babies with your DNA, and then you find them sucking off someone else."
"What is the most tried and true method to getting a small fortune? Start out with a large fortune."
"Anal sex is like a big red button with ""do not push"" on it... You know you shouldn't, butt fuck it."
"Lochte: My record is the most credible, because... IM the world record holder."
"I think it's fair to question whether or not Barack Obama is an American. I mean, look at him. He's awfully thin..."