113500

Joke of the Day

"My favorite Jesus is the one who gives musicians MTV Video Music Awards. My second favorite Jesus is my landscaper."

"If you love batman, let him go... Batman returns."

"What's do you call it when you let your penis make all of the decisions? ...a dicktatorship. My girlfriend thought of this stinker this morning."

"Do Rabbis get paid for performing circumcisions? Nope, they just keep the tips."

"*SEXIST* If the man's bathrooms on the left, where is the woman's... Even further left because they HAVE NO RIGHTS!"

"Since we are doing lightbulb jokes, here's one... Q: How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb? A: A fish!"

"With Murray testing free agency maybe the cowboys should pick up both Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson on the cheap! They would be a good one two punch!"

"So I was looking for pedophiles in my neighborhood using one of those websites and it asked me to register. Now I am legally obligated to tell you that I am a sex offender"

"HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake."

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks. All credit to Emo Phillips."