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Joke of the Day

"Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now."

"Growing up in poverty, my mom was a lot like my anti-depressants... Neither of them really worked."

"How do you make both God and Satan angry at you? You rape Satan's wife."

"If blind people wear sunglasses Shouldn't deaf people wear earmuffs?"

"Merry Christmas to everyone tomorrow... ....Today, fuck you."

"I can hear music coming out of my printer. I think the paper's jammin' again"

"A man once said, that i was gay... ...i took his dick out of my mouth and said ""i'll add an extra 5 bucks to the bill for that"""

"Doe A deer, a female deer. Ray A hunter, with a gun."

"My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.."

"I'm rubber, you're glue. He's scissors, she's a toner cartridge, those fellas are paperclips. Welcome to the supply closet pal."