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Joke of the Day

"How does grandma's chairlift work? It has to do with nanatechnology."

"I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk."

"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it."

"What was wrong with the homeless guy's IPad It was missing a home button!"

"Walk up in the club like ""hey do you have to buy anything to use the bathroom?"""

"Online Dating is like Online gaming. The Grind is real."

"Why do stop lights turn red? You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody."

"When I was 13 I prayed to God to lengthen my penis by 1"". I think I made him angry. Either that or the Olympian Gods answered my prayer."

"German Girlfriend My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"I wish I was invisible & could fly... I'd then beat up a mime and see how much applause he gets."