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Joke of the Day

"My uncle knew the exact moment when he was going to die, down to the last second. Isn't that amazing? The judge told him"

"For $2.20 you can get a medium coffee and a free 14 year supplies worth of napkins at dunkin donuts."

"if a picture's worth a thousand words, the people posting photos on twitter are going over by 860 characters"

"I guess FIFA had to pee cause they couldn't hold their Blatter anymore."

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."

"Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please"

"What's hairy and flies through the air? Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!"

"I bet Adam and Eve loved being the first people cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts"

"I hate looking in the mirror. Whenever I do, there is always some asshole blocking my way."

"Holiday tip: remember, you only have a few days left to drop out of people's lives to avoid buying gifts. You're welcome."