64295

Joke of the Day

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You would think it's the r.... But it's really the c "

"What did the constipated math teacher do? Worked it out with a pencil."

"What do you call the shiniest people? Polish"

"911: What's your emergency? THE BARISTO IS HAVING A STROKE 911: Barista? IT'S A GUY. BARISTO 911: No, it's still- Nm he's dead now"

"Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go."

"I hate bipolar jokes... They're hilarious."

"Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president. But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president"

"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse? A mechanic."

"Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'"

"What kind of bee can't be understood ? A mumble bee !"