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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying my wife's a fat,...... I'm not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch, but she's just cleaned the cooker with two fucking slices of bread."

"Sometimes I kidnap holes filled with water *Well, well, well... What have we here?*"

"Some people think stalking is wrong... I call those people cops"

"Steve Irwin died as he lived... With animals in his heart."

"Why is divorce so expensive? BECAUSE IT'S WORTH IT!!!"

"There are 10 types of people... (with a twist) There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who don't and those who understand the off-by-one error."

"A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms."

"3 men go to a strawberry stand... they buy some strawberries. They get stomach aches from eating the strawberries. They put on their hats and go off to work with stomach aches"

"""Guess what!"" ""What?"" ""I went clubbing and did the Bus Driver last night!"" ""Oh I love that dance move!"" ""It's a dance move?"""

"My son asked me where babies come from. He so silly, babies are too young to come."