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Joke of the Day

"Some people think stalking is wrong... I call those people cops"

"Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police? Because he needed *arrest*!!!"

"I went to a nightclub the other evening and saw a topless ventriloquist. She was really good. I never saw her lips move."

"I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning"

"How Russians win wars Rushing"

"You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody."

"What is the most awkward day in Harlem? Father's Day"

"My dog just growled back at my rumbling stomach. We have reached a new level of communication."

"Why is a nosey pepper so annoying? He's jalapeno business"

"When you look at Twitter's trending topics, it's a lot easier to understand why they have to write ""Do Not Eat"" on silica gel packets."