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Joke of the Day

"I can't pull a rabbit out of a hat. But I can pull a hair out of my ass."

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"What do you call a principal who gives good blow jobs? A headmaster."
"Why did the goose cross the road? Because he's an asshole."
"I like my girls like my whiskey Aged 18 years and single"
"You know what's a shame? A bus carrying lawyers and politicians going off a cliff and everyone on board dying. You know what's a damn shame? There was an empty seat in the back. Edit: details."
"What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common? Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout ""JESUS CHRIST!"""
"What do you call a bitchy oak? A country"
"Men, if you're wondering what it's like to be a woman, just imagine a world where making sense is optional. Also, boobs whenever you want."
"Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old"
"""Here, let me fill your head with a bunch of opinionated bullshit that's not actually news"" - Every major news outlet"