111937

Joke of the Day

"What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common? Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout ""JESUS CHRIST!"""

"School in Canada makes non-vaccinated students stay home to halt the spread of measles. Better safe than sorry."

"Monk at the Dentist Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication."

"Baby, are you a silent movie? Because when you talk I don't hear shit."

"What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan? I'm floored!"

"A quantum physicist gets pulled over. The police officer asks ""Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"" The quantum physicist responds ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"How do rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump Kin"

"I am really feeling like a bicycle today. Too tired!"

"Guy says: Is this seat empty? Girl says: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

"Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned."