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Joke of the Day
"Why did the goose cross the road? Because he's an asshole."
Next Joke
"How do crabs travel cheaply? Pubic transportation"
"True procrastination is a lost art Those who completely mastered it's practice never got around to teaching anyone else their secrets."
"Vegetarians maliciously starve animals by competing with them for the same food."
"Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."
"People say women can do everything men can do. Have women ever successfully oppressed an entire gender?"
"I was really disappointed with Walmart There were only four of them in stock."
"me: ""so is this a date?"" hitchhiker: ""um"""
"*Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says"
"How can you tell that God is a man, and not a woman? If God were a woman, she would have made semen taste like chocolate!"