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Joke of the Day

"Men, if you're wondering what it's like to be a woman, just imagine a world where making sense is optional. Also, boobs whenever you want."

"2: Where mommy? Me: Mommy's at a meeting. 2: Mommy is meat? Me: No. Well...yes, but only if we ever get stranded on an island. 2: Ok."

"*sits gf down* i am about to ask you a big question. if you dont know the answer then thats ok... *clears throat* where is the space jam dvd"

"two deer walk out of a gay bar the first deer says to the other, ""man, I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there""."

"Prostitutes in Amsterdam are very demanding... The last one I went with made me wash my Old Man in the sink! Can't even remember why I took Dad in the first place."

"How do crabs travel cheaply? Pubic transportation"

"A couple of Thai girls asked if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery. They were right, we had six matching balls."

"Donald Trump is already generating millions of the new jobs in America! Thanks to him, protesting is now considered a full time job!"

"Dad just dropped this at my cousin's 8th birthday party...I was the only one to burst out laughing.. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? ...Christopher Walken"