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Joke of the Day

"""A Brita pitcher is only as good as the man who re-fills it after emptying."" -- Dalai Lama"

"FUN PRANK: tweet ""going hang gliding!!!!"" then don't tweet again for 12 years"

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south? Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer either way."

"[Dumbledore gets hit with Avada Kedavra] HOUSE MD: I think he had lupus."

"My favorite knock knock joke when I'm feeling like an asshole. Knock Knock. Who's there? To. To who? Actually it's 'to whom'."

"I used to do drugs... i still do, but i also used to."

"My Grandpa has the heart of a Lion... And a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo"

"What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers"

"I Masturbated so well last night That when i woke up this morning my dick was in the kitchen making me breakfast!"

"CONGRATULATIONS It has been 24 0 days since you last stepped in cat puke."