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Joke of the Day

"I do all my addition in my head. It's the thought that counts."

"Women wanted him, men wanted to be him, geese were skeptical"

"My top 5 (in no particular order) 1. 3 2. 5 3. 2 4. 4 5. 1"

"Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again."

"POLISH JOKE WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIMPLE ON A POLISH GUYS ASS? A: A BRAIN TUMOR"

"Danger is my middle name. First name: Avoid. Last name: At-All-Costs-Like-A-Total-Pussy"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway."

"It was really hard for me to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey. But i've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about."

"This woman I met last night says she wants a guy who is ""spontaneous and fun"". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic and screaming."

"My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes."