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Joke of the Day

"This woman I met last night says she wants a guy who is ""spontaneous and fun"". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic and screaming."

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"I am 72% Jesus Jesus walked on water. Watermelons are 72% water. I can walk on watermelons. Therefore, I'm 72% Jesus."
"A whale asks his dad ""Dad where do I come from"" The father whale replies, ""well from my penis"" ""Oh. Thanks."" Responded.the junior whale ""You're whalecum"""
"Mayweather will probably win against Pacquiao He gets extra practice with his wife."
"When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is"
"Why did the Baker rob the Banker? Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk"
"So a baby seal walks into a club... That's it."
"Being a vegetarian is a big missed steak."
"I've been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building. Hope it's not terminal."
"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful, everything is falling out from the other side."""