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Joke of the Day

"I like to play chess with old men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them."

"What was the title of the soundtrack to 'The Inconvenient Truth'? Al Gore Rhythms"

"Me: Just so you know, I'm DTF right now. Wife: I don't know what ""DTF"" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?"

"I hope farmers are as disappointed as I am by the kinds of people at the farmer's market."

"So i was taking a picture of you and your mom and i had to ask your mom to step aside Because I only have 5GB space left on my phone."

"if you're hiding from a deranged killer and forget to put your phone on silent, at least make the ringtone the benny hill theme."

"What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea..."

"I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff"

"A notorious card sharp was found dead last night. He'd been clubbed on the heart with a diamond spade."

"You haven't seen true happiness until you've looked into the face of a white person when The Cha Cha Slide comes on at a wedding."