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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list."

"[At supermarket] ""Excuse me do you work here?"" WHAT? ME? Work HERE? Hell no. I went to college. I don't have a job"

"Yo girl are you popcorn? Because I'm trying to butter you up."

"What do you call a hippy's wife? Mississippi."

"My grandfather wanted to stay fit when he turned 60 so he decided to start running a mile a day. He's 65 now and we don't know where he is."

"Blonde joke ""Nurse, could you please take Mr. Oliver's pulse?"" ""Why? Doesn't he have one of his own?"""

"""How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?"" -Cats"

"Why do Jewish Men get Circumcised ...Because Jewish woman cant resist 20% OFF."

"How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to get up on his high horse and another to chastise the first about oppressing horses."

"In order to stop all the black lives matter protests Just play the national anthem on repeat, they will all sit down or kneel."