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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather wanted to stay fit when he turned 60 so he decided to start running a mile a day. He's 65 now and we don't know where he is."

"Looks like my prof is giving black friday deals too 50% off late assignments."

"*Buys a bunch of wooden letters* Cashier: Feeling crafty? Me: Nope, just trying to make a name for myself."

"What did the old billy bobs eat at McDonald's? McChicken-killer... Yeah I'm really stoned smoked a chicken killer and ate McDonald's"

"My 13 year old doesn't speak when she picks up the phone. She just listens and hangs up. I think she's going to be a hitman someday."

"We need more women in science! said the feminist gender studies student..."

"My password is ""weak?"" Well your password recovery security question is soft as shit. The city I was born in? Ask me why my mom left my dad."

"Does /r/Jokes know any good braces jokes/puns?"

"SexyButtPotato So somebody has been uploading my nudes from when I was a teen... Makes me mildly uncomfortable. http://imgur.com/5Gd9VUI"

"""Daddy what is a transvestite?"" ""Ask Mommy, he knows."""