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Joke of the Day

"When I see a couple fighting I like to walk up to the one who's more pissed off and whisper ""We can make it look like a suicide"" and wink"

"What sound does a fratboy make when he hits the water? DOUCHE"

"Why is a laundromat a bad place to pick up women? Because if she can't afford a washer and dryer, she will never be able to support your broke ass..."

"A guy walks up to a girl at the bar. Not knowing she was crazy, he says ""hey, you're an 8!"" She smiles at him and begins peeing on the floor."

"A friend of mine is so politically correct.... At the deli he is afraid to ask for "" white American "" cheese."

"My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat"

"When auto correct changes your 'omg' to OMG, alright calm your tits i wasn't that shocked."

"There once was a man named Dave Dave dug up a chick from the grave. She looked kinda gritty... Was missing a titty... But think of the money he saved!"

"Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me."

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"