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Joke of the Day

"This kid in target fell on the ground screaming bc his mom wouldn't buy him candy & now she's yelling for us both to get up and be quiet."

"What's fun about having sex with twenty-one year olds? You know, there is twenty of them"

"What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour? Leave it in the cow."

"My grandmother told me the secret to staying thin is.......if it tastes good spit it out."

"I told my mom I got in trouble at school today for a PDA.... She said, ""For what? Kissing your teacher's ass?"""

"""I've found that I'd scream the exact same way If a piece of seaweed touches my leg or if a shark were trying to bite me."" - Kevin James"

"Two Men walk into a bar... ""Knock, Knock!""...... ""Who's there?"" says one. ""It's the doctor, you two walked into a pole, now tell me if your head hurts."""

"Boy that Neil Patrick Harris is a real, man's man."

"Q: What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common? ... A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips."

"Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders."