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Joke of the Day

"Two Men walk into a bar... ""Knock, Knock!""...... ""Who's there?"" says one. ""It's the doctor, you two walked into a pole, now tell me if your head hurts."""

"Did you hear about that new restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but it has no atmosphere."

"What did the worker ant say when the queen ant asked him to make mittens for all of the other ants? *Fuck.*"

"So is the Pope like... single now?"

"There was a new machine at the gym... After using it for 30 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too many chocolate bars..."

"Osama Bon Jovi"

"My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had."

"My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I'm fearful of her college days."

"TIFU by getting arrested for taking a clock to school"

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two children? Hose A and Hose B"