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Joke of the Day
"My grandmother told me the secret to staying thin is.......if it tastes good spit it out."
Next Joke
"You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run - ORIGAMI not for everyone !"
"I've been in Wisconsin for ten pounds. That means one week for those of you who have never visited Wisconsin."
"I lied and told someone, ""I can't go to your party I have diarrhea."" I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me"
"I Was Sitting On A Train Next To A Hot Thai Girl I Thought To Myself, 'Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection'. But She Did."
"What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza? A pizza doesn't shoot up a school."
"Me: congrats! Are you pregnant? Her: (awkwardly) Noooo... Me: *panics* do you wanna be? -great save- thanks brain"
"I have a terrible habit of telling people when I have to take a shit. Heh, gotcha."
"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"
"Did you hear about the guy who used 20% of his right not to incriminate himself? He plead the Fifth!"